What Was This Movie?
The basic gist of this movie is that three women whose husband’s get sent off to prison decide to get mixed up in organized crime so they can provide for their families. The main mobster, who is supposed to provide money in case something like this happens, doesn’t cough up enough cash for the three wives so they form an alliance to make some collections and… That’s literally the whole movie… This is honestly one of the worst movies I have seen all year. I could not tell what was going on half the time and the pacing just killed the movie. If you thought the Star Wars prequels were boring where a bunch of people sat down and talked for ten minutes about nonsense then check this shit out. I might have found a runner up for possibly the most sleep inducing movie ever made and that is no exaggeration. The majority of the movie takes place inside tiny rooms where a few of the main characters sit and converse with other mobster people about whatever they plan on doing next. The pacing is all over the place, too, and I found it hilarious being that one moment they walk into a store to collect money and the next they go out partying like no tomorrow. When that happened I was like, “What the fuck happened? Did I miss something?” That is the whole movie in a nutshell… The perfect summary to this movie is a giant bag of “what the fuck just happened”. I have no idea what the director was smoking while making this movie because whoever thought this was a finished cohesive story must be either insane or high on something. I am going with the latter on that one and if anybody wants to defend her then be my guest down below in the comments section, but be warned I might question if you are on anything if you consider this movie passable. Before I blow a gasket talking about this dumpster fire I will go ahead and give you a few minor things that didn’t make me want to jump out the window.
Some Minor Things I Found Okay…
- You have to love movies that make you feel like you are living in a certain time and this movie does have a neat setting in the late 1970’s.
- One of the wives I could sort of feel for because her husband was abusive and I felt genuinely sad for her character.
- The performances were alright and I do not blame the actresses for this piece of shit movie. They are not the problem in any way, shape, or form. They may not have shared much chemistry but their delivery was fine and I didn’t think they did a half bad job with the script given to them.
What Sucked About the Film?
- The three main characters shared zero chemistry with each other. I can barely remember any of their names, except maybe Ruby (played by Tiffany Haddish). If there are no characters to root for then you might as well be staring at the wall for ninety minutes and that is exactly how I felt while watching this movie, except I think staring at the wall would have been more entertaining.
- The pacing is all over the place. I already mentioned the party montage coming right after a collection scene which doesn’t flow right, but I didn’t mention the other montages in the film. For whatever reason, the director decided to brush right past the murder scenes to get to more walking and talking. Why the fuck would anybody in their right mind want to skip past the most entertaining sequences in the movie? Sure, they wouldn’t make the movie any better but it definitely would have given me a reason to show a little bit more interest. Other problems stem from following each character walk up down the street, sometimes together, other times by themselves smiling at the camera. Who is going to want to pay money to watch a bunch of women walk and talk for almost two hours with almost no stand out performances or tension? I know I wouldn’t want to…
- There are some dumb twists at the end that come out of nowhere and make no sense. The movie tries to give you a flashback sequence like something out of Scooby Doo to try and make the twist out to be some kind of clever scheme but it didn’t work. I won’t spoil it in case you are curious to see this piece of shit… This movie isn’t even so bad that it’s good so be sure you know what you are getting yourself into when you check it out. It is one of the most boring films I have ever sat through and nobody should bare witness to this chore of a movie.
- The lack of tension killed the movie, too. If you ever watched a movie involving the mob then you should know how terrifying the movies can be. Take Goodfellas, for example. I’m funny how? That scene was flat out scary and hilarious all at once and the actors took it seriously. There were no moments like that anywhere in this film and it seriously hurt this film because tension is what drives the story in a movie like this.
In Conclusion
Stay the fuck away from this movie because there is almost nothing redeemable about it. The small positives don’t help the film in any way; it’s like covering a turd in sprinkles. I remember how painful Stuber was but this film is painful on a whole other level, being that it is so boring. Sure, they are two completely different genres but they do share some similarities when it comes to forgettable dialogue and being an overall shit show of boring. I felt no tension in this movie even when there were things happening on screen other than walking and talking. I didn’t feel like the women were in any danger and if there is no danger in a mob related movie then something is fucked up. I honestly feel like no one edited the script when they turned it in for the final draft. I mean, this was a great concept where mobster wives get to take over the world, but this was the most shallow attempt at drama I have ever seen. I couldn’t tell what was going on and my brain just wanted to shut off several times but I pressed on so I can tell you guys not to watch this stain on human existence. I am going to give this horrid piece of shit one star out of five… I thought it was bad when I saw it but after thinking about it for more than five seconds I just found myself hating it more and more. Stay away from this movie… I think I would rather watch Stuber than this and you all know how great I thought that film was. If you don’t I will share a link down below. If you enjoyed my review then be sure to share this article around on social media! I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!
The Great Critic 