The Plot
Eight year old Hannibal Lecter and his sister, Mischa lose their family when a plane crashes into a tank outside their cottage. Shortly after, a group of war criminals take control of the cottage so they can hide out. When the group runs out of food they are left with no other choice but to eat one of the children to prevent themselves from starving to death. They choose Mischa to munch on and this sets Hannibal off on a revenge mission to hunt down every member of the group. The film cuts to Lecter as a young adult making due at Lecter Castle where he decides to live with his aunt Murasaki since the orphanage is too much of a pain in the ass for him. After about an hour, the movie decides to finally get the revenge mission started when Lecter figures out a way to refresh his memory in order for him to find the men who ate his sister. That is the basic plot… Generic revenge plot with Hannibal thrown in for a quick buck. Hope you enjoy…
What Did I Just Watch?
Well, I think I might have stumbled across one of the worst prequels ever made. You might be asking yourself, “This can’t be that bad, right? I mean, it’s a young Hannibal Lecter trying to get some revenge for the death of his sister. How bad can it possibly be?” Trust me when I say, this movie is one of the most boring, shallow, pointless, and sterile movies I have seen in a while. I went in feeling like the worst was behind me after enduring that lifeless ‘Hannibal’ film, but I quickly realized that the worst has yet to come. The plot is all about revenge since Hannibal wants to hunt down the men who made beef stew out of his sister in order to survive. A generic, simple revenge plot without a reason to care. In comparison, This movie makes ‘Hannibal’ look like a masterpiece and I sat through this laughable attempt at entertainment so you won’t have to. You can thank me later after I get into what I hated about this movie, so let’s begin shall we?
This Isn’t Hannibal
No disrespect to Gaspard Ulliel, but he was miscast as the demented psychopath, Hannibal Lecter. He came off to me as a random guy trying to hone in some good old fashioned revenge without the same kind of intellect or charm as the Lecter we all know and love. I felt like this guy was directed to be an emo version of Hannibal Lecter, which doesn’t work for me and there were times where his performance made me laugh but for all the wrong reasons. There is a scene where he looks directly at the camera then licks his blood soaked glove like it is supposed to be a creepy moment, but it came off as unintentionally hilarious. While that scene was going on I was just saying to myself, “Seriously, man? You are trying way too hard to be scary. You don’t see Hopkins walking around licking blood, do you?” It didn’t help that he was dead silent for a quarter of the movie, which goes against the Hannibal Lecter character. His character is supposed to be arrogant and snarky while this guy plays him like he is reserved and shy. Can you imagine Hannibal acting that way in ‘The Silence of the Lambs’? Imagine him just staring at Clarice awkwardly for minutes at a time. Pretty hard to take seriously, huh? When he does finally speak (when his aunt basically forces him to say something) I didn’t buy him as the intellectual he is supposed to be. Sure, he does end up going to school to become a doctor but he doesn’t really use his high powered perception to his advantage, which was pretty disappointing to me. It would have been interesting to have a scene similar to that of ‘Silence of the Lambs’ where he uses his psychiatric knowledge to persuade somebody to do what he wants. Instead, Hannibal learns about this serum that allows people to remember certain things about their past. Wow! That’s quite a coincidence because Hannibal is having trouble remembering the names of the men who ate his sister. It’s a good thing he happened to stumble upon a room where an inspector uses the serum on a man to refresh his memory, otherwise, he would be out of luck. His performance was generic and I feel like many of his scenes were forgettable. I could tell he was trying to be intimidating but while he was trying to scare the audience, Hopkins did so naturally without much effort. Maybe if Hollywood decides to do another prequel to Hannibal, they will listen to my criticism because I am sure there are lots of people who want to delve into the mind of Hannibal Lecter, instead of watch him play the anti-hero on the hunt for lesser foes.
The Other Characters
Almost everybody else in the movie sucked… I didn’t care about any of these characters and some even felt like cannon fodder since two of them barely had any lines of dialogue. The main baddie in the film isn’t very intimidating and I felt like Hannibal could have easily dispatched him at any time. This sucked all the tension out of the movie because if the villain isn’t much of a threat then there isn’t much of a point to watch the film. Once again, I am not blaming the actor for his performance, but I will blame the poor direction and the writing for not giving him much to do. Rhys Ifans can be great in a movie if he is used correctly, but he doesn’t have that magnetic presence a good villain should have. Li Gong was forgettable since she is only there to sympathize with Lecter because she lost her family to Hiroshima. She is also a love interest which really doesn’t click for me because there is no chemistry between her and Lecter. I found one scene laughable where she embraces Hannibal and begins sniffing him like a dog. I found that scene really odd and I had no idea what the director was going for by having her hover over his lips in a sexual way when she is, in fact, his aunt. Maybe the director thought Lady Murasaki felt attracted to him because of all the murders he had a part in? That is kind of messed up, don’t you think? That’s what I got out of their ‘chemistry’, at least. When Hannibal told her that he loved her I felt like jumping out of the window because there was nothing previously established other than them being physically attracted to each other. That isn’t much love as it is lust. There is nothing much left to say about the characters. They are boring, cliche, and forgettable including Hannibal himself.
What Didn’t I Like?
- The story was bland and I have seen it many times before. How many times is Hollywood going to use the same old revenge plot?
- Hannibal Lecter was miscast… He did okay for what he was given but he doesn’t have the same charisma or intimidation that Hopkins had in the other films. It is almost impossible to play a younger version of a beloved character but I believe it can be done and I feel like the dialogue could have been handled more effectively. Giving the actor more juicy lines to work with could have been beneficial to the overall character but he came off as the typical anti-hero plotting to get revenge.
- Most of the characters were forgettable. I thought giving Hannibal pathetic foes to go against really hurt the film because it detracts from Hannibal’s aura of wit. I felt like anybody could have taken down these war criminals and when two of them got the drop on Hannibal I couldn’t help but shake my head when he made short work of them.
- There is a plot hole I won’t go into since I don’t want to be the guy who spoils a movie for you. It bummed me out because it carries over into the other films and the fact that it is never addressed makes me yank the hairs out my head.
- The kills were painfully average. After a while the kills were the only reason for me to get some form of entertainment but even the deaths were handled poorly. Death by decapitation sounds interesting but there wasn’t much creativity in the kill. Just a few slices and a final cut to the head… I thought it could have been more creative if Hannibal disabled him then tortured him a little bit before going in for the kill. I may be asking for a little much when it comes to the franchise but after a while of watching a bunch of boring scenes I guess a bit of gruesome brutality would wake anybody up from this miserable chore of a movie.
In Conclusion
The pacing killed the movie for me since it felt like I was sitting on my couch for half the day while watching this steaming pile of horse shit. The kills were lame, the acting was average and forgettable, the plot is the same old shit I have seen before when it comes to revenge, and the film felt so unnecessary. I wanted the movie to end 45 minutes in and when it kept going I was on the brink of shutting the movie off so I could do anything else with my time. This is easily the worst film in the franchise if you can even consider it a part of the Hannibal trilogy and it is probably up there for being one of the worst prequels ever made. This didn’t delve into the mindset of Hannibal Lecter and it depicted his character as some kind of anti-hero. Hannibal Lecter as an anti-hero? What was the director thinking when he came up with this sorry attempt for a movie? A basic 2 hour long slog fest about a guy hunting down a bunch of morons with the name Hannibal slapped on for more money. This is not worth watching and if I were you I would stay far away from this piece of garbage. Watch any of the other films in the franchise! I would even say to watch ‘Hannibal’ over this piece of shit. I am going to give this movie 1 star out of 5 for wasting my time. If you enjoyed my review of this garbage then be sure to share this article around on social media! I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!
The Great Critic 